A sexually active generation

The change in youth sexual behaviour has forced government to introduce HIV testing in schools. Although the proposal was not implemented, it caused rage and shocked many at the same time. It is scaring to know that children as young as 12 years have started engaging in consensual sex. With the media condoning sex before marriage, one night stands and friends with benefits it is no wonder why the youth is becoming more curious. The youth is slowly shifting away from society’s ideals and expectations and as a result there is an increase in teenage-pregnancies, abortions and HIV/AIDS. The mentality of sexual freedom is reiterated at university level, with friends persuading one another to be more active in bed. 

Marilize Olckers, a registered Health Counsellor at Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU) admits that students are becoming more sexually active. She does HIV testing, provides HIV counselling and educates students about sex. “In my 2years at the university, I have come to realise that most students do no prefer condoms because they ‘trust’ their partners” says Marilize. Condom use is the most important aspect of sex and many people choose to disregard that fact. “I have students who say they regret not using their sex education to use”, adds Marilize. Although Marilize agrees that the media plays an important role in the dysfunction of the youth, she believes that parents are also to blame. “With the lack of sex education at home, the youth begin to want to experience what has been hidden from them”, explains Marilize. 

Lilitha Bengu* (18) and Sive Nobala* (20), a first-year couple from NMMU say that being intimate has brought them closer. The couple only started having sex after 6 months of knowing each other and as a result they can’t stop. “Once you have had sex, it’s harder to abstain” says Lilitha*. Sive* also agrees with Lilitha* and admits that he is always in the mood for sex. They felt the need to express their love for one another in sex because it signifies the whole purpose of the relationship. “You can’t claim that you love a person and not be intimate with them”, says Lilitha*. “If you deprive him of sex, he will look for it in other places”, adds Lilitha*. The couple both come from conservative homes and they know the importance of sex and yet they continue having sex because they believe that they will marry together. “At home, we are taught that we can only reap the fruits of a woman once we are married and I do not see myself with anyone but Lilitha*” concludes Sive*. 

Sex has become such an important part of a relationship and as a result people enter relationships for the wrong reasons. Another NMMU first-year couple, Zanele Ngumbela (19) and Kutlwano Mpshe (20) believe that sex should be preserved for marriage. The two have been dating for 8months and have abstained from sex throughout the relationship. “My parents have told me countless times that sex was created for married people and I have held on to my virginity” says Kutlwano. The couple both have a strong relationship with Christ and they believe in prayer when temptations arise. “The media makes sex look right but they leave out the significance of it [sex]” says Zanele. The couple are one of a few that have abstained from sex. They enjoy each other’s company without the pressure from peers to have sex.

Your whole life changes after you have engaged in sex. For a woman, your body changes and you become attached to that man. For a man, only in few cases do they become connected with the woman but in most cases it is to satisfy a craving. The youth need a huge awakening and it all starts at home. Parents have to talk to their children about sex and not leave it up to teachers and friends to influence their children.

By Andisiwe Mtengwane