Watching Nosicelo Majeke and Phumla Dlamini walking hand in hand towards me, I am reminded of how it feels to be in love. For them, they are imperishable. They share a heartbeat and to them that’s all that matters. They don’t worry about what others will say because they see nothing beyond their love. Although society has created social constructs that have brainwashed us into believing that the normal couple should be straight, I found myself convinced without a doubt that this was love in its most natural form.
While women of today have the unique privilege of renegotiating the definition of love, Nosicelo and Phumla have redefined love. For them it’s not a bond between man and woman but rather love has been about exposing themselves to vulnerability, criticism and letting go of their guards. Like the beginning of most relationships, the two couldn’t get enough of each others’ company. “Phumla would find any excuse to visit me” exclaims Nosi, “But baby I loved being around you” replies Phumla. The two look at each other and smile, within a year of their relationship they still gladly reflect on how they fell in love. Although Nosicelo had never imagined herself ending up with a girl, she couldn’t deny the feelings she had developed for Phumla. Accepting the feelings that arose for Phumla, Nosi wasn’t prepared for what was about to follow.
“Disclosing our relationship to my friends wasn’t easy” recalls Nosi. “I thought everyone was going to be happy for me but some didn’t understand” Nosi adds. The couple had to let go of disapproving friends but other problems arose. People would stare at them in disgust when they walked hand in hand. Men approached Nosi while they knew she was in a relationship with Phumla and claimed that they had the real ‘thing’ and that Phumla was not a real man. Through all the negativity, the couple have remained positive by staying close to each other. Phumla looks at Nosi in wonder and says “I would be lying if I knew what love really is, but I have no doubt that love is what I feel for this girl”. The secret to this relationship is true love as Nosi and Phumla spend each day building on what they have. “Another thing you have to know is that two girls in one relationship is too emotional” jokes Nosi.
While women of today have the unique privilege of renegotiating the definition of love, Nosicelo and Phumla have redefined love. For them it’s not a bond between man and woman but rather love has been about exposing themselves to vulnerability, criticism and letting go of their guards. Like the beginning of most relationships, the two couldn’t get enough of each others’ company. “Phumla would find any excuse to visit me” exclaims Nosi, “But baby I loved being around you” replies Phumla. The two look at each other and smile, within a year of their relationship they still gladly reflect on how they fell in love. Although Nosicelo had never imagined herself ending up with a girl, she couldn’t deny the feelings she had developed for Phumla. Accepting the feelings that arose for Phumla, Nosi wasn’t prepared for what was about to follow.
“Disclosing our relationship to my friends wasn’t easy” recalls Nosi. “I thought everyone was going to be happy for me but some didn’t understand” Nosi adds. The couple had to let go of disapproving friends but other problems arose. People would stare at them in disgust when they walked hand in hand. Men approached Nosi while they knew she was in a relationship with Phumla and claimed that they had the real ‘thing’ and that Phumla was not a real man. Through all the negativity, the couple have remained positive by staying close to each other. Phumla looks at Nosi in wonder and says “I would be lying if I knew what love really is, but I have no doubt that love is what I feel for this girl”. The secret to this relationship is true love as Nosi and Phumla spend each day building on what they have. “Another thing you have to know is that two girls in one relationship is too emotional” jokes Nosi.
By Andisiwe Mtengwane & Dominique Rala Rala
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