Faith Like Paulina

For Paulina life has never been easy, since birth she has always had irregular encounters. Born as a premature baby at 6 months, her life took a turn for the worse when her only source of survival failed on her. She was the only baby that lived to see the end of that day after several other babies died with the electricity failure in Umtata General Hospital. Although it has never been proven, her parents always believed that the single day she spent in an ineffective incubator cost her a normal life. 

It was only when her other peers were getting more advanced did her parents take note of her slow development. She was taken to several doctors before she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy diplegia, but coming from a pastoral background-those words became too foreign to digest. Her parents continued to search for means to heal her, from doctors, to witch-doctors and pastors but all routes were unsuccessful. It was only when a pastor looked into her eyes and said ‘my child, you are special-and God loves you’ did she realize that she had to accept herself. 

Acceptance was the hardest part, with other children always pointing their fingers and laughing at her, looking at her reflection was a misery. To add on to her problems, her father’s side of the family refused to believe that she was part of the family. They blamed her mother for giving birth to a ‘cripple’ but her father always stood by his wife. Things were harder to endure since Paulina’s sister was also tormented at school for her blood relation to the ‘abnormal’ child. 

As Paulina grew older, her parents never gave up on her condition. She had her first operation at Bedford hospital when she was only 3, where she learned to walk on crutches. Although she was young at the time she remembers the joy on her mother’s face when she took her first steps. 

The next big step became a hassle since getting proper education for her was limited. However, through the Grace of God her mother found out about Ikwhezi Lokusa Special School in Umtata. Paulina was enrolled at the school and won the top student award for 5 consecutive years. The only problem at the school was the guards who kept on beating them up. Paulina recalls an incident when she told one of the aunties she needed to urinate, but instead the auntie disregarded her request. After being patient with the auntie Paulina couldn’t hold it in anymore, so she released her water unaware of the consequences that were going to follow. She was slapped and packed down with a whip because the guard believed she was too slow. Paulina learnt to keep to herself in fear that she would be firmed for being too loud. 

Her nightmare at Ikwhezi Lokusa ended and she moved to Pretoria’s Philadelphia special school where she encountered more problems. Only this time the pain inflicted on her were words. Paulina had a low self-esteem and had difficulty with making friends. Her conversations with other peers always ended up in tears because they would mock her and call her squint. She became her own friend and that didn’t bother her. She excelled in matric but lost her grandmother, mother and father after she was accepted at Wits. 

After losing the ‘heads’ in her family, Paulina developed a relationship with Christ. She regained her self-confidence and she learned to depend entirely on Christ. Paulina graduated from Walter Sisulu University and moved to Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University. She is currently the Deputy Chairperson of Fusion, an organisation that unites and embraces differences. Paulina is determined to take her ordeals in her stride as she continues to walk with God.

Andisiwe Mtengwane